Living, changing, growing up, and learning who's REALLY there for you.

Since this is the only sort of journal I keep, I wanted to get this out. I'm not doing this for sympathy and I doubt anyone really reads this anyway... but it's for me. To remember where I WAS at, and where I AM at now. I don't have any regrets in my life. I have learned a lot and the things I've been through have made me the person I am today. Stronger and happier than I have ever been.

Since the end of September, I have been living in my best friends basement. I was going through a lot...hands down the most difficult time in my life. Amber and Jason offered their basement and wouldn't take no for an answer. They opened their house up to me and told me I could stay there as long as I needed to. I stayed for almost 8 months, and I couldn't have asked for better roommates while I was transitioning into the single life again. :)


I am SO grateful that they, not only let me live there, but were there to help me through everything I was going through. I can honestly say I have some of the BEST friends in the whole world. I can recall countless days of Amber coming downstairs and dragging me out of bed, getting me to actually go out, laughing with me, crying with me, having all day movie marathons with me because I didn't want to pull myself off the couch, and she didn't want to leave me to sulk in my misery by myself. We would have sleepovers because I didn't want to be alone. She even took a spontaneous girls trip to California to "get away." Both Amber and Jason listened, talked and gave me advice. They told me what I NEEDED to hear whether I wanted to hear it or not and no matter how hard it was to accept some of the things they told me, I'm glad they did. I remember being scared to death of facing my next chapter and step in life and having both of them tell me that it was ok to be scared. I owe a lot to them, especially Amber.



“True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.”

While I'm on this "BFF" kick and talking about the people that were there for me through "it all" I can't leave out my co-worker and one of my best friends, Romina. Since I started this job, we have always gotten along. Within the last 8-ish months, we've become attached at the hip. We're quite the pair and there's never a dull moment when the two of us are around. :) Ro has been there for me EVERY workday morning. We have our morning coffee/chat in her office at 8:30am, every day, without fail. There have been many tears shed, but just as many smiles and hysterical laughter to go along with. We share our "date" stories- good, bad, or otherwise, talk about our ups and downs in life and help each other through it all. I'm also very grateful to have her as my partner in crime, as well as one of my best friends... We're headed on a little girls weekend getaway this weekend.... Vegas isn't going to know what hit it! ;)

Last but certainly not least, I can't leave out my rock(s) and foundation that taught me the MOST in my life... my family.

I will argue that I have the BEST parents in the whole world! No matter what I do, they still love me. I know I haven't been the perfect daughter (as close to perfect as one can get though, right? ;) but they have been there for me and supported me through everything I've ever done. Right after I got divorced, I pulled away from everyone, (except for Amber...I didn't have a choice, I was living in her house. Haha) including my family. I know it was hard on them, me not opening up but at the same time, I think they understood that I needed time to figure things out on my own. I remember one day, pulling into the driveway of my parents house, my dad was outside. I had been crying ALL night, and I'm sure I looked like I'd been hit by a train... The second I saw my dad I started bawling again. We had a long talk outside, I told him I felt lost, didn't know who I was and that I was scared TO DEATH to be alone or take a step out of my comfort zone. He gave me a lot of good advice and encouraged me to "get out of my on deck circle and step up to the plate"... Of course it was softball related, right? ;) I went inside and was welcomed with a big hug from my mom. She didn't ask questions, she just let me cry. My brother and sister-in-law were in town and I asked my brother for a blessing. I sat and talked with him afterwards, he gave me a shoulder to cry on, gave me some good suggestions and told me a few things I needed to hear. I can honestly say, that after that day things just went up from there!

I am happy to say that I feel more like myself now than I EVER have. I bought myself my dream truck (Tonka is her name ;), just moved into my own apartment by MYSELF, (never in my life did I see that happening) and I love it! I'm dating, playing softball, and doing my own thing.... Of course I still have my days, but I LOVE MY LIFE!